


they want you to introduce yourself (and the other lies they tell)

by pseudoanalytics



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Backstory, Based on the Canon Novelization, Getting Together, Imperial Flight Academy, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, references to Bodhi's moms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9783872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudoanalytics/pseuds/pseudoanalytics
Summary: "Come on, Rook. Thousandth times the charm," Misurno laughs into his glass."Why do I listen to you?" mumbles Bodhi, but he stands up anyway and heads toward the pilot across the room.Just ask him out. It'll be that easy.----based off of actual lines in the canon novelizationfor instance, did you know bodhi had at least one crush (gender not specified) and a first kiss while working for the empire?





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is for those of you who don't want to suffer through the novelization reducing baze/chirrut to "brothers"
> 
> here are some excerpts to explain and support this story:
> 
> [bodhi had a (nongender specified) crush?](https://twitter.com/newttxt/status/827556506581078017)
> 
> [who the fuck is misurno?](https://twitter.com/newttxt/status/827558185703596034)
> 
> [bodhi had a first kiss?](https://twitter.com/plantblogger/status/828052694417805312)
> 
> [cassian and bodhi ditch the council meeting to chat alone?](https://twitter.com/plantblogger/status/830303653617545216)
> 
> [jyn calls bodhi a coward?](https://twitter.com/cassianrook/status/830888714079436804)

Bodhi's mother poked him gently in the forehead before sighing and pulling her five year old son into her arms. "You always talk, but you say so little. Learn to listen, Bodhi Rook."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, burying his face into her long hair, loose around her shoulders for once.

She pried him off and smiled encouragingly. "Now, try again."

He screwed up his face in concentration, and his tiny fists opened and closed nervously at his sides as he fought not to fiddle with his chin length hair. "Hi. I'm Bodhi, and I..." He trailed off, looking to his mother for guidance. She gave a small nod in reply. "And I like drawing pictures and the color green."

"Good," his mother said. "Now it's my turn. Hi, Bodhi. I'm Karee. I like assembling speeder engines and the color purple."

Bodhi's eyes lit up. "I like purple too! One of my moms likes purple."

"You don't say. Bodhi... I'm your mom—"

"And she likes speeder engines. She works with them! And someday, she's gonna teach me to build one up like her."

"Bodhi, sweetie, slow down—"

"I don't wanna drive speeders though. I want to fly a spaceship!" Bodhi flung his arms out and ran in a quick circle. "My other mom's name is Pax, and she says that when I'm older, I can get a paper that lets me fly spaceships off planet whenever I want!"

"Bodhi. We just talked about this."

He froze, turning guiltily to look at her. "I just... I get really excited."

Karee's eyebrows tilted. "I know you do."

Pax walked in, and she leaned against the portal-frame casually. "Is someone ready for his big day tomorrow?"

"Yeah!" Bodhi leaped around again. He crouched down enough to slap his palms on the floor before jumping up as high as he could. It wasn't very high. Yet.

"You gonna let the other kids get a word in edgewise?" Pax snorted, ruffling his hair.

Karee laughed. "We're working on it."

"I'm gonna make friends!" Bodhi yelled. "And we can talk about drawing and flying and my moms!"

Pax scooped him up and flung him upside-down over her shoulder. "Yeah, you are. Who could turn down a friendship with you? You're going to make hundreds of friends."

Bodhi didn't make any friends.

Bodhi didn't even make it to school.

Instead, the education facility was reduced to splinters of wood, shards of metal, and scraps of cloth.

The Empire arrived and declared Jedha to be under Imperial control. Anyone who said otherwise would be executed on sight.

When Bodhi was six years old, the Imperial Academy opened, and all the kids and teenagers were commanded to leave their families and attend. There were no friends to be made in the Imperial Academy.

Talking was strictly forbidden unless called upon by an instructor. The students were ranked in their years by ability and intelligence, forming a competitive rift between them.

Bodhi's ranking hovered consistently in the range of 300 to 320, depending on how many students were still alive to be enrolled. He was 318, but then Rago caught Mynock Fever, and Bodhi was 317.

His academics were far from the best, but it was his physical testing that kept him at the lowest rung of his year.

Seven year old Bodhi was easily winded and susceptible to fainting from panic.

Seventeen year old Bodhi was all leg and no balance, and _still_ prone to crippling fits of anxiety.

He was graduating at the end of that year, and it was time to pick a field of study. The thought was terrifying. If you failed to pass into the specific occupation you chose, you were recycled into the stormtrooper program.

They always needed more stormtroopers. Bodhi got the feeling they didn't last very long.

"Cannon fodder," Pax had sworn under her breath once. He remembered that vividly, and it stuck with him. Don't be a stormtrooper. Not if you wanted to still be alive in a year.

Bodhi Rook graduated last of his class and was granted one month off to see family and pick his field.

His mothers welcomed him home with hugs and kisses and loving touches to his ever growing hair. Bodhi wanted to forget about the Empire and stay with them forever.

"I'm... I'm going into pilot training," he told them one evening. "I've decided it. And I thought. Well, I just thought you should know."

Karee rubbed her thumbs across his cheeks like she had when he was a child. "You were always meant to fly, Bodhi." It was hard to smile with her hands on his face, but he did his best.

"You'll be great," Pax whispered.

Bodhi was terrible.

He crashed his flight simulator six times out of ten, and he couldn't keep up with the cardio exercises required of TIE pilots. The other trainees could benchpress Bodhi's own weight, but he still struggled with the bar alone. He couldn't climb the rope to the ceiling of the gym, and he couldn't run twelve laps without stopping for water.

Results week came, and Bodhi waited in line, tears in his eyes as he prepared to be assigned to become a stormtrooper. A whole hour passed before his name was called:

Bodhi Rook. Report to Cargo Pilot Training.

He'd made it.

Cargo pilots were no TIE pilots of course, but it was a spacecraft, and it wasn't white plasticine armor and a poorly calibrated blaster, so Bodhi was fine.

They cut his hair to his ears in a perfect bowl shape, and he was assigned two dark blue jumpsuits with the Imperial insignia embroidered on the sleeves.

"You will receive a biweekly pension," his drill instructor informed him. "What you do with it is up to you."

Bodhi sent it back home to his mothers. His meals and clothes were provided, and if he couldn't afford a holopad or a pack of cigarettes like the others who kept their money for themselves, that was okay. Besides, he found other ways to make a little on the side.

He couldn't remember who first taught him sabacc, but he _did_ remember who taught him to count cards. 

Misurno was an incredible card player on top of being an incredible pilot. He had been an upper rank TIE pilot until a faulty fuel line caused him to crash-land his ship. With its terrible shielding, he was lucky the crumpling TIE didn't kill him, but the injury to his arms and legs left him demoted to the position of cargo pilot.

Misurno was Bodhi's first friend.

"Go for it, man," Misurno said, smelling strongly of alcohol and right by Bodhi's ear. "Ask him out."

"No, I can't..."

"Sure you can. Go for it."

Bodhi set down his water glass with a shaking hand.

 _Hi. I'm Bodhi Rook, and I still like drawing and flying cargo ships and the color—_ _no._

He walked right up to Chancal, the tall, broad shouldered TIE pilot that had all the other trainees swooning. Rumor had it he was planning to be part of Lord Vader's personal entourage.

Bodhi liked his nose. It was dramatic and slightly hooked. He wanted to run a finger down it.

Chancal turned around when Bodhi lightly tapped his shoulder. "Rook? What do you need?"

"Hi. I'm— sorry to bother you. I was wondering, whether..." He fisted his hands in the loose fabric of his jumpsuit. "Whether you might come get a drink with me after training someday?"

Chancal gave him an odd look. "You don't drink."

"Well, yes, but I was thinking... I'm not sure. What I was thinking. Maybe we could—"

"Listen. I appreciate the offer, but I'm not interested."

"Yes. Well. Okay. I'll just be... yeah. Good night."

The chuckling TIE pilots watched him make his slow way back to Misurno.

"I shouldn't have even bothered," Bodhi sighed, burying his face in his arms. "It was an awful idea."

Misurno rubbed his back soothingly and ordered an expensive juice for Bodhi. "It happens to the best of us. You'll have luck eventually. Maybe when you're older."

"When's that? I'm twenty-three... You're what, fifteen years older than me?"

"And I've had considerably more luck than you."

Bodhi shut up and drank his juice.

The goggles were paid for after a shockingly good night of sabacc. Bodhi had counted cards yet again, but the other trainees still couldn't prove it. The goggles kept the sand out of his eyes on desert planets and the rain out of his eyes on tropical ones. They were a comforting object to fiddle with on every planet he flew to in between.

He was allowed to make the occasional trip on his own from time to time, though usually Misurno came along as his copilot. They would chat, and Misurno would drink, and they would waste away the hours in the cockpit by talking about their home planets and parents.

"I'll show you Jedha," Bodhi said excitedly. "When we go on the pickup route this month? I'll show you around." He spun a tale of gorgeous temples of kyber crystal and delicious smells wafting from roadside food stalls. Misurno seemed excited.

Whatever Jedha had been, it was no longer anything like it now. The temples were crushed stone and rubble, and the Guardians of the Whills who had fiercely defended them were disbanded and dispersed. Citizens lived in fear of the Empire, and they shrunk away from Bodhi and his Imperial jumpsuit, whispering crude names in their varied languages.

"I have to... I have to check on..." Bodhi sprinted through the winding streets, navigating the labyrinth-like city with ease. His house sprung into view, and he knocked wildly on the door until it opened.

A hulking creature with spikes where a face should be answered.

"Hi, sorry, are Pax and Karee Rook here?"

"No," the thing grunted.

Bodhi's forehead wrinkled. "Do you know where they are?"

"Dead."

"What?" The world spun and swung like when he was young again. Panic built in his throat. "What do you mean? I've been sending them money."

"And I've been appreciating it. Listen, kid. Troopers marched in. Cleared the place. Moved back out. I live here now."

Bodhi's knee gave out as he turned away. He stumbled back to the ship in shock. Misurno flew them back, an arm around Bodhi's shoulder as he tried and failed to process the news.

A few weeks later, they sat together on the floor of Bodhi's tiny living space, celebrating his academy graduation. 

Misurno was sober for once. "Your hair's grown out again," he noted, and Bodhi chuckled humorlessly, running fingers through its greasy length like Karee had once done when he was sad.

"It has."

He ended up collapsing in Misurno's arms, sobbing into his shoulder and missing his mothers something awful. They had meant so much to him, and this was all he got. No fanfare. No big explosion. Just a matter-of-fact announcement of their deaths and a door in his face. It was anticlimactic and demeaning.

Around four am, Bodhi accidentally called Misurno by Pax's name. The next morning, they agreed to never mention it again.

Bodhi moved on as only those used to loss can.

"Come on, Rook. Thousandth times the charm," Misurno had cackled one night.

"Why do I ever listen to you," Bodhi spit, though he was already standing, taking a bracing gulp of seltzer water.

"Because I'm responsible for helping you reel in every catch you've ever made. And you know you're my best friend, so I have your best interests in mind. You're my _only_ friend, mind you."

Bodhi couldn't argue with that one, and he shot him the most poisonous glare in his arsenal before he made his way across the mess hall. He tried to walk casually, employing all the tricks Misurno had taught him. He smiled at the new pilot reclining against a potted plant, looking up through his lashes and letting a soft smile play across his face. His best features, he'd been told. "Hi. I'm—"

"Bodhi Rook, right?" New Pilot interrupted.

The smile faltered in surprise. "Uh, yeah. That's me."

"Seen you around."

"Yes. That's because... I _am_ around. I'm around." If he hadn't left his drink back with Misurno, Bodhi might have dropped his glass on his own foot.

"Mmhm." New Pilot looked him up and down, seemingly unfazed by his lack of eloquence. "You busy tonight?"

When Bodhi walked out of the mess hall with him, he heard Misurno wolf whistle. His ears flushed red, and he wished he hadn't left his goggles back in his room.

"How'd it go?" Misurno asked the next day as they went over preliminary flight checks.

"Nice."

"It went nice?"

Bodhi sighed and hip-checked Misurno out of his way. "You know what I mean."

"It's just good to see you smile, Rook. You've been stressed."

"We're going to Eadu. It's a Rebel target planet. I don't like making deliveries there."

"You worry too much. It's gonna be fine."

Nothing, Bodhi was learning, was ever fine. No matter what people told him or promised him, things never worked out. 

When Alliance forces blasted his transport out of the sky, only his escape pod ejected. He never knew if the other one malfunctioned or if Misurno even made it there in the first place, but the fact remained, he was the only one to wake up in the Imperial hospital.

He made his way to the main assembly room the moment he was released, but there was no news on Misurno.

"A TIE pilot is a dime a dozen," one officer scoffed, and Bodhi didn't have it in him to insist that Misurno was special.

He was in the mess hall when he thought he saw him again. Bodhi's stomach dropped, and he sprinted to the table until the Misurno-lookalike glanced up from his food. It wasn't Misurno.

Bodhi felt foolish, so he sat down anyway.

Not-Misurno sized him up, and Bodhi stared back.

He extended a hand across the white linoleum tabletop.

"Hi. I'm Bodhi Rook." _And I like..._

"Bodhi? Nice to meet you. Galen Erso."

Galen Erso turns Bodhi's world into the tangled, carnage-ridden wreck that launches him headfirst into defecting from the Empire and being tossed in with Bor Gullet under the watchful eyes of Saw Gerrera and his men.

Captain Cassian Andor drags him out of his haze with a reminder of his mission and the man who sent him, and Bodhi hasn't had a chance to really collect himself when he looks up through his cell's bars and sees Andor's face.

He has that nose. The gentle hook to it that reaches into Bodhi's chest and squeezes. Then the hard eyes register, and the angry words, and Bodhi pushes such frivolous thoughts from his mind.

The approach to Eadu is something of a deja vu moment, and they crash again, though this time they all walk away just fine.

"Come with me," Cassian orders Bodhi. "We're going up the ridge to scout out the shuttle depot and the lab."

"We're getting Galen, right?" Bodhi asks, and Cassian locks eyes with him just a little too long.

"If we can. Of course."

Bodhi is getting a little tired of this. "This" being the lies, the inaccuracies, the fact that nothing ever works out like people say it will.

Galen dies too.

Jyn Erso is a spitfire. She's a kicker and a screamer, and Bodhi admires her for it. She doesn't return the sentiment.

"You're a coward," she spits when he won't confront Cassian for his lies about his mission on Eadu. He hears her words in the voices of everyone who has called him that. He wants to think she's wrong; he wants to think they all have been.

While Jyn rants to the council, Cassian drags Bodhi out into the depths of the base.

"She'll want to head to Scarif for the plans," Cassian says.

"I know."

"I'll be finding men to come with her."

Bodhi looks up now, meets eyes with Cassian. "If you go, you won't be coming back."

Cassian starts. He opens his mouth, and Bodhi can hear it on his lips, the insistence that no, they'll be fine. It'll be a quick in-and-out.

Cassian closes his mouth again. He doesn't contradict Bodhi. It's honesty. Or at least not a lie.

Bodhi doesn't want to be a coward. He tells Cassian as much. "I'll come with you. You'll need someone who knows Imperial protocol."

Something flickers in Cassian's eyes. "You're coming, just to prove to Jyn that you aren't a coward?"

It offends some part of Bodhi's ego, and he stands a little straighter. "To prove it to myself, too." He doesn't mention the dozens of others who have insulted him.

Cassian stares at the ground. "You've _more_ than proven yourself already."

"I'm going," Bodhi insists.

Cassian doesn't argue again.

They land on Scarif, and Cassian starts to pull on the Imperial officer's uniform. Bodhi straightens his hat and pulls the collar tight to match dress code.

A hand grabs his own, and Bodhi tries to ignore how clammy they both feel. The nerves are there, simmering below the surface.

"Thank you, Bodhi," Cassian says, and it's for more than just the uniform.

The hug is unexpected, and Bodhi makes a questioning sound even as he squeezes back, like this might somehow summon the plans and fly them off Scarif all in one piece.

"Why?" Bodhi croaks out, and Cassian frowns, that little tick forming between his eyebrows.

"You know why. We won't be coming back from this one."

He swallows the lump in his throat. "Okay."

Bodhi decides it's fine if everyone lies after all.

It's fine because the plans are in rebel hands, and they're back on Yavin IV, and they are all very much alive, Chirrut, Baze, Jyn, and Cassian. They're alive, and that's all that matters.

"I always kind of thought you didn't like me," Bodhi breathes as Cassian picks him up from his living quarters to take him off planet for a private meal for the two of them.

"I don't," Cassian says, and Bodhi laughs, loud and bright. "What? Why is that funny?"

Bodhi just shakes his head. "Because. You said you don't like me. That means the opposite is true."

Cassian knocks him on the head and leads him to their shuttle.

They wait for their dinner to be served, and Bodhi clears his throat. "Maybe... Maybe we could start over. Meet each other in a way that isn't an extremist's prison block."

"In a way that doesn't involve our rapidly approaching deaths either?" Cassian retorts.

"Yeah. I think that'd be nice."

"Okay then."

"Right. Okay. Well. Hi. I'm Bodhi Rook, and I like designing recruitment posters for the rebellion and the color green."

Cassian laughs but wrestles himself back under control. "Hello, Bodhi. My name is Cassian Andor, and I like fiddling with android code and the color purple."

Bodhi lights up. "Purple? You know, one of my moms..." He trails off.

There's silence for a beat, until Cassian looks confused. "Why'd you stop?"

"I ramble. Sorry."

"No, no. Please. Continue." Cassian leans forward, fingers steepled, looking completely interested in what Bodhi was about to say.

And for the first time, Bodhi clears both his throat and years of inhibitions, and just speaks.

It's not the hundreds of friends his mom had promised, but it's a start.

**Author's Note:**

> i churned this fucker out in three hours on valentine's day, but then i didn't post it because the quality matched how long it took to make
> 
> but here we are
> 
> (abby. u say u read all of these at some point... i'm testing you)
> 
> also, bodhi is a visual learner. and he's gay


End file.
